Useless Inventions That Nobody Asked For

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By: Seljan | Last updated: Apr 05, 2022

“Necessity is the mother of invention” according to one of humanity’s best minds, Plato. But what is the mother of completely useless inventions that no one would ever need, ever?

Entertainment, boredom, and ingenuity all come together to create this hilarious list of useless inventions that literally nobody asked for. We’ve rated how useless each invention is. The higher the rating, the more useless.

The Instructional Pants

“The Instructional Pants” for anyone who often finds themselves looking down in confusion about where to put their hands.

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While this may be more of a fashion statement (a statement on what we are not quite sure) it is top-notch useless.

Useless Rating: 6/10

The Drink O' Clock

We are of two minds on this useless invention. If you’re trying to recreate an evening that resembles something of a Kesha music video, this invention is perfect for your night.

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However, in your day to day, having a magic eight ball-like strategy to decide on alcohol or coffee feels incredibly useless and potentially a recipe for disaster.

Useless Rating: 5/10

Paint-ercise Rollers

It doesn’t come across particularly prudent to paint while you work out, but this invention scores some points (or loses points for uselessness) due to one simple fact.

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This invention can actually serve two distinct purposes. The first one is painting. And the second is working out. We have serious doubts about the efficacy of the workout, but still–useful.

Useless Rating: 3/10

Shoe-Brella

There is no denying on the fashion end that these umbrella shoes are…creative? But presumably the umbrellas would not work.

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If you’re walking through the rain, surely the water is still going to soak through your feet. Unless this invention is to protect one from spills at a party? That might be more useful.

Useless Rating: 9/10

Social Scrolling Case

When you see this, do you wish that you had to it help you scroll through the rest of this list? How hands free does one person need to be?

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These questions are largely subjective, but it does diminish what could be a problem to someone. It has a real function! The standards on this list are so high, aren’t they?

 

Useless Rating: 2/10

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Zoom Tees

With the increased need for virtual meetings in the business world, this useless invention comes as no surprise. For those of you who cannot be bothered to throw on an actual shirt, simply align yourself with this mini standing shirt for your next meeting.

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It is hard to imagine a boss who would be pleased to see this, as it is very obvious that the man in the photo is down to his chonies in this picture.

Useless Rating: 8/10

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Jigsaw Puzzle Coffee Table

Finally! Something kind of, sort of, in the ballpark of not a complete waste of time and money! The jigsaw puzzle coffee table.

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On the one hand, for the puzzle-lovers out there, this is a great puzzle to invest in. Mostly because once you complete it you have a new table! Which is more we can saw for your standard ole’ puzzle.

 

Useless Rating: 1/10

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Stop Snacking Sweater

All of us want to put the unhealthy snacks down and commit ourselves to a life of health and self control.

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However, this invention seems more cut out for babies to be swaddled or something that someone involuntarily committed to an asylum would wear. However, to be fair, it would stop you from snacking.

Useless Rating: 9/10

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Shower Curtain Towel

This invention has potential, however it does seem to create more work than is really necessary. While it would be a good way to know exactly how many clean towels you have while also keeping your towel close after you’ve done bathing, it does have some pretty serious cons.

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As you use your towels, your shower curtain diminishes, which is going to make a mess in your bathroom. Also, your towel curtain will get wet as you go. It doesn’t work.

 

Useless Rating 7/10

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